Saturday, 20th? Argh, why bother

My emo side tells me that I have noone to trust anymore. Everything is dark… silent… and I.am.starting.to.talk.like.this.

No, I’m not emo. I don’t even give a shit about the emos. However, yes I do feel like I can’t trust nobody for shit. Okay, I admit, I do only talk to 1 or 2 people in the whole damn world now, still. What the fuck.

First of all, maybe I’ve been in a so called relationship. Who am I kidding? I don’t do relationships. Probably, just one of those days of mine, but seriously, I don’t believe that I’m good enough for one man to stay with, without having other girls as back up. Maybe I’M the back up. Anywho, I don’t think I’m in any place whatsoever to talk like that. Bah.

Going to Langkawi today, yay. My excitement has died, but I’m looking forward to it. I don’t know what to pack still. Ain’t too clear on what the plans are. I guess I’ll find out when we get there.

Fuck this.

And I miss home so bad. If I get a flight home right now, without any visa problem, fuck yeah I’ll go right away. Fuck telling people when or if I’m leaving. I don’t even think I’ll be missed lmao. Ahhh, life.

Aite. There. My being sappy, sad and pathetic. Havent been writing interesting shit on my blog lately. I’ve lost my sense of humour and now lead a boring life.

When It Comes to A Bitch..

I wanna thank my babies for being there for me. for being genuinely caring. :) love em much

and to hell with dem bitches whose purpose in life is to steal other girls' men.

You know who you are

Bitches

Girls are complicated i must admit.

for the smallest shit, we start acting like a bitch. When it comes to something big, we know how to handle it. We appreciate appreciation.... bah seriously..

Most girls I know, who are straight, when they see men they like and then they KNOW that those men are taken. They back the fuck off. They respect that man for being in a relationship. Only bitches wait for that man to dump the girl, or get dumped. By keep on calling him, and all that crap. If you're in the girlfriend position, then don't go all crazy over it.

Yeah just let it be. his behavior ain't your responsibility. you ain't got no right to control whoever the hell he wanna check out or be nice too. Your job is to be a good girl, stay committed and not flirt with other men for YOURSELVES, not him.

Fuck her.

Eid Mubarak

Blahh..

Current songs :

1. Lucky - Jason Mraz ft Colbie Caillat

2. Superhuman - Chris Brown ft Keri Hilson

*laughs* damn, I really need to get started on my industrial visit essay. God help.

Also, as much as I appreciate freedom of speech. When it comes to death. Watch the fuck out on what you're saying. Not only it's inappropriate, also it's just sadistic to bitch about the situation. You don't know the guy who passed away, you don't know the assholes who killed them. Just say your prayers and shut the fuck up.

Back to bizness. I'm in love with P-square. I also prefer cute short chubby guys. Like my hippo. lmao. Ahh, I am so not high. I'm just talking bullcrap coz I haven't done that in awhile.

Sick of guys complaining about how the girls on campus are not hot enough. I mean seriously, they should be GRATEFUL. Just think. They're not getting laid now that the girls are not hot enough. If the girls get any hotter, hell they gotta go back to where they came from. They complain how some girls are too hairy. So what, they can wax their hair off and get you to fall head over heels for them. On the other hand, those guys can get all the makeovers they want, them hairy girls won't even give a fuck. Naw, it's just before you guys make any conclusions and set such high standards. Let me riddle you this. lmao. Naw, just look at yourselves first.

Guys, think. You want a good girl. Are you a good guy? You want somebody smart. Are you also smart? You want her to be religious? The stop fucking around and go pray. You want somebody hot? Then stop analyzing their looks and work on your personalities.

Who am I to give any advice right? true. This is just my opinion:)

R.I.P

May you rest in peace.

Sri Sankaran.

Hope those bastards who violently attacked these guys get what they deserve.

And She's back

Can't Blame Me for Wanting to Change

Just for the respect I've lost

What I valued the most

For everything that I've done

I don't regret a single one

Everything happens for a reason

For a purpose I can't find alone

There's always a lesson to learn

There are always ones concerned

I know I'm not going though this alone and it's stupid for me to have ever thought that way. I know my problems are my own and I want everything to go my way.

I have to thank God for giving me the parents who always bring me back. No matter how much I've crossed that line, they're always there for me. Yea, I do understand why I feel down these days. I guess I have to pray for strength. The strength to love God more than anything else.

And yeah, I'm just another human being. I must never feel like I'm better than anyone else. Even if I know that I'm right, if it's not important, just keep it all to myself. People HATE being proven wrong. So do I, but I'm learning to accept my mistakes. I wanna be able to do that.

All good. I don't need the approval from other people. I don't need their judgements. All I need to know is if I'm doing the right thing. All I need to know is if I'll be able to keep on changing for the better. If I'll be able to be more grateful for whatever has been given to me, coz in the end, they're not even mine.

Who could say no to luxury and all that expensive crap. Hey, if it's given to me, then I'll accept it. If I don't have it and I really want it, then I'll have to work for it. I don't wanna get used to a lifestyle that will drag me down in the future when I have to live on my own salary and then I realize that it's not enough. I wanna be able to start from the bottom. I wanna be able to shake off the arrogance. I wanna be able to appreciate other people more.

That's all. Sappy? indeed. Haha

Looking Back at It

How Could I have called myself emo???

Naw, no offense to all those people out there who call themselves emo. I just don't believe in labels. Labels are for posers. It's a lifestyle choice.

I'm just uwie g. Just one of them college girls who are trying to get through crap that is NOTHING compared to crap many other people go through. Therefore, I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and just take what is given and work hard for the better. I believe no matter what religion you are, no matter who you are, if you work hard for it, with good intention and no arrogance, then you'll get what you want. For some, not directly. Some of us have to face the obstacles. The obstacles that are there to remind us that we're no higher or lower than anyone else. We're in no position whatsoever to judge other people and tell them off.

I guess I've been hating too much these dais. Been bitching too much. I realize it's just one of them ways to make myself feel better. To make myself feel like I'm not the worst of all people. Well, I'm just one of them people who makes mistakes and instead of taking them out on other people, I just gotta evaluate myself. Fix it myself.

I still have people who give a shit around me. Some of them actually do give a damn and expect no return. Some of them are just backstabbers. Some of them are confused with their intentions. Yeah, I've also learnt this: Don't expect shit from anybody. Expect the good from life, but not from people. Yes, I believe there's good in everyone, but for them to care about you for no return... I'm still working on that.

I may seem like I spit out sunshines, rainbow and butterflies. Creepy, but you know what I mean. I don't. So sometimes I can't hide my feelings, I'm sorry. If you're tired of looking at my frowning, then look away.

I also have to stop complaining. Blah. O well. I have reports to do. I have tests to do. Wish me luck whoever you are.

Too Much for a Week

Thank God.

Naw, just too much happening in a week.

Prayers to those who got attacked, hope they get better soon. mentally and physically.

Anyway..

Bah, I remember my hobbies. I used to decorate my room like crazy. Back in AD. Back in Indo. Even my Saudi room. I don't stay there for a whole year, but loving it indeed.

Don't Touch Illegal Crap

Coz you'll be hung. HAHAHA! like a donkey.

1. What the fuck is wrong with my hormones. Well, even though I know WHY they're messed up, I guess I'll just keep it to myself. It's annoying! How come MEN don't get this kinda crabbiness?! It's MY blog, you don't like the topic, then close your window. No, even better, throw your goddamn laptop out your window.

2. I miss my mommy. Yeah, I guess I'm spoiled. You know what? I'm not even gonna defend myself here, YES I am spoiled. Still, I love it. At least I KNOW I am not some stuck up lil bitch who goes around spreading crap about people. AT LEAST when I do bitch about people (as I'm human), I speak the truth. WHEN I DON'T, I apologize for saying the misled fact.

Yeah, these are some weird crap about me: (whether you like it or not)

1. I like speaking in whiny voice. Because I get what I want that way and it's an ice breaker you know, at some appropriate moments.

2. I hate toothpaste foam. I don't even look at myself in the mirror when I'm brushing my teeth. I don't watch any part of the show where the character is brushing his/her teeth. I don't look at the person I'm talking to if they talk to me while brushing their teeth. Goddamn, I just find it gross.

3. I am actually very very picky, or used to be. Now I'm okay with drinking from someone else's bottle/can/glass.

4. I love spongebob.

5. I love Doraemon, I watch it if it's on. I used to watch it every sunday at 8 am before moving to AD.

6. I miss AD.

7. I have the tendency to want to please people. I'm working on it though, people are mostly ungrateful bastards.

Fuck this. I'm broke.

It was abbas' B'day

And even though the cake was not too cake-y, it was still appreciated :D

Wash That Mouth

I'm not the one who's got rights..

I have no right to point out your flaws. I have no right to correct your mistakes.

Seriously, I'm no better than anyone else. I'm just another human being, like you are.

First of all, The Hijab.

Yeah, I respect all my friends who cover their heads like all muslim women should. Just please, for your own sake, don't act like you're bigger than the girls who don't wear them hijabs. That just makes you arrogant. That just makes you look low. Transparent and half hijabs are not considered hijabs. They're just like a mask to show that you're muslims. Hijabs are not supposed to be worn with low tops and tight clothes. I'm not saying that i know better coz I, myself, don't wear them. InshaAllah one day I'll wear them, if God lets me live longer. The thing is, if you wear Hijab, then act like it. Nobody says you can't go clubbing, but if you wear them daily (halfway) and you go clubbing, shaking your asses. How does that make you look? Don't think people forget about it on the next day. No, they don't. They just decide not to say anything coz it is none of their business. Don't think noone can see that. If you wear the hijab, then don't go around post pictures of yourselves uncovered. It's your Godforsaken rights to post anything you want, to do whatever you want, but THINK. Is it right to improperly wear hijabs, and at the same time, you go around backbiting, bitching about others, shaking your asses in publics and thinking you still get the same respects that other girls who DO wear the hijabs for God get?

Second of all, Backbiting is just wrong. In ANY religion. It's just WRONG. Yeah, I've been there done that. I have backbit people. I feel guilty though, that's why I am trying my best to not do that. The thing is, do YOU feel guilty at all? making up stories like they actually happened. You're not making a novel. You're doing it in real life, where people's feelings get involved. How is that right?

Anyway. I'm not the one to give advice to anyone, but in this case, I have told myself not to cross the line. I won't be telling anyone off coz I know your lives are not my business. However, when it comes to my friends being involved, then I guess I have to make a little move with the little knowledge I have.

x

Letting It Out

Thankful

Yeah. I'm damn thankful people still give a damn. I'm so damn grateful people still care a lot. Thanks to you all :)

Check It

RazzQueen I mean Young Razzy

http://www.myspace.com/youngrazzzy

x

Back On Campus

I'm kickin it like a 5-months-old fetus

First of all, all my respect to the Fluid Mechanics lecturer for talking like Borat and acting out every single shit he explains. Frankly, he's very entertaining, makes me wanna come again and see what he's going to do for his next lesson. Maybe he'll come in a costume, you'll never know.

Anywho, I know it's 5 am and goddaamn, I must be sleeping. I did though, just woke up to finally have shawarma. It wasn't that satisfying coz such cold food is not a good treat.

Many people are back already, not that I care. Well I do. For some people. I only have one thing I'm excited about, wearing my abaya on eid.

Lost my pin number. How crappy is that. I just feel like mentioning that coz it's an important chapter in my life. No I'm not going to put my passport number and such things on this blog, I'm a drama queen yes, not an idiot.

To many chinese new students, howa? To the new Indo students, run whileyou still can. No I'm kidding.

Even though I'm a little confused about what I'm supposed to be doing next, I'm happy about whatever it is I have now. Haha. Hell I have my brown bear with me, my homies chidi, ken etc. More importantly, chidi has installed astro in his cursed living room. Why cursed? coz that damn room seems to always get me sleepy. Maybe it's the couch, or the fan, who knows. As long as I don't come over during a football match, I'm down. I mean, hell the last match I properly watch was some world cup match 7 years ago. I was actually going crazy for the country I thought was cooler.

Oh, and my room is cool. Nuff said. Bitches

xxx

Don't You Be Interviewing ME!

One more thing, this whole smoking thing. I'll get off it if you ever do. Seriously, if you care that much about me, then don't bitch about my habit behind my back. That's not caring. At all.

More questions thrown my way:

1. Will you ever stop smoking?

A simple question with a simple answer. I will eventually. I will stop when I stop, get married or die.

2. Are you still on a diet?

Other than the fact that it is none of your business, yes I am still on a diet. I am still eating and drinking, hence I am technically on a diet. Seriously, unless I come up to you to ask for the ride to the doctor because my shit hasn't come through for days, don't even give a damn. When I don't wanna eat, don't make me. When I do, don't say shit about how much I eat. Seriously, if you're worried about my eating too much, then I'm going to shove the food that I'm going to eat up your skinny ass so you actually can get the point. If you're worried about my eating too little, then go splurge and cook for me. Can't do that can you? Coz talking is always easier than doing.

3. Why are you always in your room?

simple. Internet, food, ac and it's MINE

Damn That Dentist

The trip to the dentist wasn't amazing.

Bah, I didn't sleep the whole fucking night because of the whole electricity thang and I didn't wanna be late for the dentist. Not because I made a fixed appointment, but because the later we leave the house, the more packed will the traffic be. Anywho, so after my aunt dropped me, I registered and shit. Scared a babie, but she/he wasn't worth my time. Then there was this old lady who was also going to the dentist. The thing about this hospital is, whoever gets to the office first, gets the first damn appointment. Old fashion. So this old lady was surprisingly quick, she ran upstairs like a cheetah with sprained ankles. I didn't wanna lose face, so I ran upstairs and I won the race.

Still, Karma is a bitch. Apparently, the dentist who was supposed to be treating me was in a "Musical Therapy" coz she's pregnant. Who gives a damn? My mom never went to any therapist and I turned out just awesome. Yeah, so I had to wait for her OR I could be assigned to another doctor if I didn't wanna wait for 2 hours. Hence, the old lady got her turn first.

Life is a bitch.

Anywho, so I was all mad. After 10 minutes of cig-break, I decided to take the other offer. I took the other doctor. She was a pain in my ass. She kept on poking my poor tooth even though I already told her repeatedly, "YES, IT DOES HURT."

And there were like 4 nurses in the room with us. At first I thought my case was that bad, then it turned out that they just wanted to have a little gossip party, during MY appointment. How annoying. Thank God for music. They were also talking about politics, or at least I thought they were. They kept on mentioning our president's name.

After 30 minutes of living hell, we were finally done and she said, "You need to come like 3-4 more times." What a bitch, I already told her I'd be leaving. InshaAllah. But still. I was very angry, you don't wanna see ME angry.

Bah, why me?

Then there was Light...

It's 1 am and the light in the house has just gone off. Bah to me sir. BAH.

Still. I have darkness phobia. I had all these ideas in my mind. Like I was gonna call my aunt upstairs, but I got scared by the idea of her eating me alive. Then I was gona call my cousin but I knew she wouldn't even be awake enough to listen. I went online and found my mommy and I thought to myself, "Hold on, SHE will call me!" She didn't though. She didn't even reply. All good all good. I was gonna call my aunt next door to ask if she was awake and if she could come out and flick the switch. Then I thought that it would be too sadistic of me. How could people not notice the blackout.

Then there was my lil qwabman online and I asked him to call me so I could have a distraction while I took a trip outside with my laptop as my source of light. We ended up talking on the phone for like 30 minutes or more in total. Big ups for his loyalty. Bah, what would I do without big Q saving me from sleeping without ac which could lead to being bitten by mosquitos, which could also be Malaria-carrier. Yes, I think too much, but mosquitos are also taking over my country.

Anywho, it was great talking to a friend whom haven't talked to in awhile. From how Dane Cook is actually hilarious, but a little too silly for our taste to how we do. Then we had to end our blissful convo coz he started to sound like a girl since he was sleepy and he'd got a big quiz awaiting in the morning. Thankfully I found out how to use 'garageband' on my mac and started "composing" a song.

I have a feeling I'll be big.

Yeah anyway, I think I need my coffee

[After 10 minutes of coffee+cigarette]

Yeah, that was great. One of the maid was in the kitchen making breakfast for the family. A breakfast I won't be having coz I will be asleep. I just went and made my coffee.

One of my favorite Scrubs Lines:

Dr.Kelso : Hit him with a lamp

Turk : There's no lamp in this game sir

Dr.Kelso : [to turk]I was talking to your wife [to carla] hit turkleton with this lamp

I feel like a sad muffin. My cappuccino wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be, but I'm awake nevertheless and I'm happy. I just didn't smoke coz I couldn't wait too long to continue my beautiful, yet pointless blog.

10:00 pm

Who sleeps at 10 pm?

Went to my aunt's house next door to get some kind of medicine, nd she opened the door all scary. Telling me how all the folks are asleep and I don't know time. Me? Offended? Hell no, I think that was cute.

Whatever though, I still miss the campus life where people actually wake up at 10 pm.

I wanna watch 'Team America, World Police' because it seems like a funny movie with many good looking moppets. There were many fugly ones too, but I can deal with that.

Yeah, I've noticed that there are some people out there [you know who you are] who avoid taking pictures of me because they think I have enough pictures of myself. Yes, I do admit I'm a cam-whore and I was born photogenic. Can't help it, it's in the genes. I usually won't give a damn, but dude, don't make it too obvious.

There are some un-answered questions that have been thrown at me. Well, I finally have put the words together nicely and am ready to answer them.

1. Do you think about the future at all?

Yes, I do. Just because I seem to be free-spirited and cool all the time, does not mean I'm ignorant. Maybe I just don't wanna discuss such things with people who don't matter, such as yourself. Anyhow, I have been thinking about what I'll become. Will I be a working mother or a stay-at-home mother, thus a housewife. Will I become a mother et al? Will I get a job? Will I pass my degree? Will I finally find my soulmate? Who will he be? Will I be wearing scarves. Will I stay in touch with my friends? Will the guy I'm somehow with now exist in my life? Will I ever be famous? Will I be diseased? Will I be alive? There. I took it all out. There are more questions running in my mind, but I much rather not list them, or I'll probably drive everybody away.

2. Why do you present yourself as a bitch by going around with many different guys?

First of all, the guys I walk with are walking with me because we bump into each other and happen to be going in the same direction. I may be mean at times, but I won't tell them to fuck off. If I seem to have many friends, then yay, God bless me. I appreciate their company and I'm not going to lose such thing. If you really have that much of free time to observe me, then observe this *middle finger in the ayer*. Naw. I believe that there's good in everyone and I don't wanna rub anybody the wrong way. I may be seen going around with many people, but I only have a few people whose company I truly enjoy. I don't present myself that way. Just because you don't like the guys I walk with, doesn't mean they're bad. Maybe they've helped me out. Maybe they do like me. Still, thanks for asking.

3. Why do you go clubbing if you know that girls who club are bitches and sluts?

Bitches and sluts sleep with people they've just met. I don't. Also, all girls are nay bitches and hoes. They're just girls having a good time in the club. If you're religious, then yes, I believe it's wrong to do such thing. Just remember, as long as it's not your sister in there, then shut the fuck up. My reason is because I wanna have a good time, dress up, look pretty and maybe get hit on by some guys. Mostly drunk perverts. Bah. Enjoy my McD meal as we usually rush to avoid the breakfast menu. I don't give a damn about other people. take my advice, as long as the drunkens don't throw up on your shoes and the guys don't rape your friends, you have no business here. Peace out.

There are other questions, I'l answer them later. Right now I'm watching 'The Stepford Wives'.

Turn Off The Shyness

So this one time I was a pirate

And a pirate with a wing

And a blue mermaid princess

And a green fairy. How sad?

As I've told you, whether you give a fuck or not, I have died my hair blonde. More accurately, I have bleached my hair in the past. It did not look awesome, but I pulled it off. Proof:

Sister Sister Sister

Them pain in the ass. Babies. xxx

I Can't Stop Typing! NOO

You have eggs on your face. Even if you don't, you're still a pretty fugly person.

I've been very bored, and I've managed to organize my folders. The song: T.I.-Whatever You Like, is addictive.

Here are some things about me that you may find interesting. I mean, come on, it's me. Anywho, I think it's the fact that I'm very bored and I'll just throw a piece of me out there.

Facts:

I'm proud of my nationality

I smoke like a chimney and I don't see a point in hiding it.

Even though I think lollipops are combinations of hard-candy and trash, I still like them.

I love icing sugar.

I bake great cookies.

I am very body-conscious

Spongebob is not dead

Heavy metal and Techno are the downside of musical industry. Still, peace.

Reggae is the black hippie music.

I dance like a white girl.

I'm a drama queen when I'm bored. I don't create drama, I make them big.

Other great songs:

Tyrese - Signs of Love Making

Jordin Sparks - One Step at a Time

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Just Stand Up - Many Singers

x

Somewhere between all and nothing

I know I've been bitching about how I don't judge people around me. Well, let me rephrase that for everyone. I do judge. Silently. I try not to rub anyone the wrong way by keeping them opinions to myself. I mean, come on. Wherever the hell you may go, you'll always be judged silently by everyone around you who happens to look your way.

I really must stop smoking. I don't wanna end up breathing through a hole in my neck or walking around with an oxygen tank strapped to my body. Then again, I can't help it. These days I've been bored and there's noone to stop me. Perhaps only my parents can help me cut down, coz for God's sake, back in Saudi I only smoked one or two a day. However though, it's MY responsibility to take care of myself and yes, I'm aware of that.

Don't ask me what's wrong when you see me pissed off somewhere on the this earth. It's because all I'm going to say is, "Nothing, why don't you go to hell where you'll be able to mingle with all the people burning and shit. Then you can feel free to butt in their business."

That was not funny, but it at least shows how much I loathe such question.

Whatever though.x

Ooh Ahh

The movie teeth is just hilarious. I'm not some kind of psychotic lady who enjoys seeing penises getting chopped off, but it's just hilarious. A teething vagina. Imagine if the girl gets raped. Speaking of getting raped, have you heard of a girl who wears 3 pieces of bras and 4 pieces of underwear because she's protecting herself against rape. I mean, rapists don't give a damn about the boobs as much as the jackpot down there. Also, if you slept with a guy willingly, that is not rape. If you're a whore and you get raped, then that's stealing. Police won't even give a damn, if they do, they'll just make such rapist pay their debts. Those girls make me sick. They make the cops think that all girls are lying bout getting raped, thus when there's a real case, they won't do shit.

Toe-nails clippings are sick.

Indonesia is getting sicker and sicker each year. First of all the traffic jam. It looks like a bunch of drunk drivers are set free. Not to forget the motorcycles who are trying to race the cars, without realizing that we can simply knock their cocky asses off their bikes and kill them. Also the fact that many assfaces who sell fried chickens on the streets are going to hell for sure. All because recently they've found out that instead of using chicken, they're using rats. That's right, RATS. Yeah, gladly I only eat off KFC or McD. Bah, also they use rotten tomatoes for their ketchups. They use textile colorings for candies. Seriously, what the fuck?

One day, I shall make hash cookies.

x

Monday

I think I pinched my dentist a little too hard. She's a big girl, she'll live. Besides, she thinks I'm cute, so that's a plus point, even though I don't think I'm adorable enough to get discounts.

Life is like being injected with anesteshia, it hurts like a bitch, but if you can bear with it, then all you get in the end in no pain. Yeah, and when I was in the waiting room, there was a guy with his face covered like a ninja walking around the hospital with a shovel. I thought I was seeing ghosts. I even thought he was planning on killing someone.

Naw, he was just a worker outside. I don't know what the hell he was doing in the dentist area.

Anyway, that took a long time, my mouth felt so weird. I wonder if prostitutes ever had this kinda problem, what with their giving many blowjobs and all.

People think that rough workers are scary and mean. I'm not scared of them, not because I'm superman, but they're just hating their jobs. No, there's noone in this world who wakes up in the morning and going like "I want to be a truck driver!" If they had a choice, they wouldn't wanna break rocks with more rocks 24/7. Thus, don't mess.

People think I'm a messy person. Well, yes I am a messy person, but once I clean up my room (even though it only stays cool for a day), it's the most organized shit eva.

Time to get it out of my head.

I think I will make one hell of a wedding planner. A great one. Depends on what kinda person you are. If you're a buzzkiller, then that's how your ceremony going to be.

I'm also a good liar, I can be great at politics, or perhaps an actress. Still, the greatest job would be a secret agent. I can sneak in without being creepy, coz stalking with an excuse is acceptable. And since it's 1 am and I'm jobless, I'm going to do what other normal people do. Do Surveys. I'd have said, "go out and chill with friends", but I'm not in college at the moment. My bad, I'm not at the party and sex school at the moment. Yeah, it's true. Sadly.

10 things I’ve finally learnt about men:

1. Do not expect ANYTHING from a flirtatious motherfucker. If he's not with you, he's probably out there trying out new pick up lines, or even the lame ones like the angel crap.

2. Once you find out he ain’t for relationships, leave him or lose it. Losing him is better than getting hurt later.

3. Nobody’s perfect, No guy’s worth it.

4. No men, on this earth, would feel guilty over ANY pain he’s caused.

5. When he says that he DOES feel like a building is falling on top of his head, DON’T FALL FOR IT. Coz behind your back, he’s telling his homeboy what a whiny burden you are.

6. When a guy wants to keep everything on the down low, LEAVE HIM.

7. When everything is about him. him. his dick. him.

8. A fling shall never exist.

9. Don’t fall for a guy who doesn’t take you seriously.

10. Don’t fall for a guy who doesn’t get jealous when you have other guys on your list.

I ain’t an expert yet, and I don’t wanna experience any more shit. My life is shit enough without men drama. While he’s on top, stepping on you, you’re down there sucking on his balls. that sounds really wrong, but it's a metaphor. Gees, and when the nice guy comes along, he’s just plain IRRITATING.

Remember what they say. What goes around comes around.

I'm Hetero, Sorry.

Things I hate:

1. Guys who are hot and very aware of it, therefore they start going around with their dicks up their asses, thinking any girl they go up to will madly fall in love with them and offer them their vaginas. I'd rather have a guy coming up to me saying, "Did it hurt? When you fall from heaven.." than, "Heyyy cuttyyyy hottyyyyy swettuuummmmsss" or anything with over-exaggerated letters. Either way, the guy must be disturbed.

2. Anybody who spends an hour talking about how much alcohol they can stomach, how much weed they can smoke up and how many times a week they get down in the club.

3. South-east asians who think they're africans because they're blacker than black people. I am nay a racist. I find some people cute if they can play it well, but if they can't, bah, go to hell.

4. People I don't know butting in my life.

5. People thinking they can solve all my shit. Really, OI.

I can't believe I haven't really got into any fights. Haha, naw I ain't no wuss and to be honest, I can't take down anybody for shit. Thus, I use my common sense and not get into physical fights. Still though, I've tried fighting a black man. He literally took a chair and wanted 2 hit me with it, but a good old friend stopped him. Not by fighting him, but by talking to him. For fuck's sake, the guy was annoying me with his singing and his loud music in a public studying place. Use an earphone gees.

That was a great day for all of us. Still I have no excuse, I don't stand up for myself, so what. Maybe I'm just a coward. Maybe I'm putting their crap first. Maybe. Still I been sad lately. It's the being-stuck-at-home crap.

Why am I singing?

I Just Dey Wonder

Why do people always sing in disney movies? And cry in the end? Yeah, so I cried after watching Lion King, but who didn't?

Still though, the lead singer for Jonas brothers is actually pretty cute for an emo boy who sings for little kids. I wonder if they actually like their children fans. I mean, when you get out of that place you just had a gig in only to find out that a bunch of fans waiting for you outside are kindergarden students. Something is terribly wrong.

Anyway, my hair is bushy now. It is just a bummer. I shouldn't have dyed it a gzillion times. what the fudge.

This was after the real hair kinda outgrew the bleached hair. Amen to that. Told you I pulled it off.

In The Ayer

Damn You PMS

And I've got nothing to make my mama proud

I have nothing in my defense to be said out loud

Right now, I feel like the best decision is to get out of whatever is going on and get hurt now. Call me a wuss, well I'm just not the strong girl I appear to be. Now, even though I am technically coming out with the whole weakness thing. Yeah, I'm not ashamed of being someone who doesn't stand up for herself because she's rather keep her opinions to herself, just so that certain jackass is happy. So that it won't turn into an argument.

Yeah I'm not ashamed of trying to get along with many people because I believe that there's good in everyone. I believe that no matter how badly someone has treated me, or I've treated someone, we'll still be cool. And yeah, unless that person is not worth my time or I'm not worth his time.

If I can just listen to me at least once.

"Move On You Lil Bitch!"

Yeah, even the lil voice in my head is a bitter skank.

x

Cupcakes

I've been googling cupcakes.

It's probably Ramadan that gets me going at it. It's probably my inability to cook. I've been searching for recipes that I know I'll never actually apply in the kitchen.

Cupcakes are the shit though.

Found in Google. Who would have the heart to eat such thing?

Even though there were many other options, I chose this one. I'm going to make this one day

The last one is the shit for bachelorette parties. Naw, I am nay a fan of penises trust me, but these cupcakes are very inviting.

I am Nay an Alcoholic

I have decided that Alcohol is not an answer. There's no point in getting drunk, forgetting my problems for a couple of hours, do unacceptable things, and wake up with a hangover. I've never had a hangover, but hey, it's all good.

Anyhoo. I'm a chocolate lover, so this alcohol-related article is out of boredom really. They do look inviting, but I'd rather have a chocolate shake.

1.Chocolate Raspberry Martini

A Drink of the Week Original Cocktail

1 1/2 oz. Stoli Raspberry Vodka
1/2 oz. Godiva Chocolate Liqueur
Spalsh Soda

Combine Vodka and Liqueur in a shaker with ice. Shaken and strain into a cocktail glass. Top with a splash of soda.

Garnish with a fresh raspberry.

2. Chocolate Mint

Just like when you were a kid - only better
Tiny marshmellows not included

1 oz. Peppermint Schnapps or Creme de Menthe
Hot Chocolate

Combine in a footed mug.

A great alternative or addition to this recipe is 1 oz. of Baileys Mint Chocolate. Wow

Ahhh. Naw, I have nothing againts anybody drinking, smoking, smoking up, doing drugs AS LONG AS they don't try to influence me, my family, my cousins, my friends who want me to get involved in their problems. So I hope you all don't think I'm judging dem alcy. Hell no. I don't give a crap really, just don't come up to me telling me what bottles you have, bragging on how much you can drink or smoke up.

Also, I am not interested in those club-every-night and smoke-weed-everyday kinda guys. I'm not impressed by your suits. I am not impressed by you stash, neither will I ever be that one girl who's willing to keep your stash and let you spank me in public. Hell to the no. So if you're one of those guys who roll in your cars with loud music and looking like they're in a music video, don't even bother flirting coz all I'll say is, "How Depressing is it to be you?"

Bah, what about that? x

Again, at Senayan City

Since this is not a fashion blog,

I usually don't talk about what I've worn today. Well, I looked fly in my jeans, sack-tube-top and black vest. Not to forget my red babyphat bag. Still though, even though we didn't do anything extraordinary, it was fun. Just reminiscing, talking about high school and walking around.

We were killing time in the food hall, looking for food for iftar. Even though we only came up with redbull, pizza-flavored pringles and water. All went good until we ended up in burger king and the black pepper whopper pissed off my teeth. FOR GOD'S SAKE, nothing could hurt more. well perhaps a woman in labor, but still, it hurt like a bitch.

Finally could come out after being locked in for a week. then got a text from an old middle school friend, might meet up with him tomorrow. Ahh, the outside air feels so good. well, imagine it without the lead pollution and other toxic gases in the atmosphere.

Crap.