It's Okay

Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want it to.
Even after trying your best to change for the better
sometimes all that means nothing to the rest

Yeah well.

I now have a big room to keep myself busy in. Decorate it and shit.

Meh. Sad.

Should've stayed the same way I came.

2 more weeks

Yes, the flight has been postponed.

Bought a pack of cigarettes to help me through these 2 weeks.

fuck you saudi and your damned hypocritical rules.

Twilight. New Moon. Eclipse. Breaking Dawn

I was very skeptical when it came to Robert Pattinson and his friends. I thought it was just our teenage girls with raging hormones over reacting whenever anybody mentioned anything to do with twilight. I decided to not read or watch the movie just to stay on the safe side with the cool kids. However, shit changed. I went to visit a family friend in Qatar, despite our request to stay in the car and sleep, and chilled a bit with the daughter who was pretty cool for her age. She has all the 4 books. I laughed at her and opened up cosmo instead. All right, it was cosmoGirl.

I finished reading the magazines in 10 minutes. Well, I flipped through the pages and scanned through the outfits. I couldn't careless about Leighton's life really. Even then, my parents still didn't wanna leave. I sighed and took the first book off the shelf (or whatever). Before I opened the book, I asked her for spoilers, you know, so I wouldn't have to read them. She, however, refused to tell. I didn't wanna be annoying, so I opened the book and began reading. God bless me for being a fast reader. It was actually interesting. I mean, she didn't use big words or anything, thank God.

A couple pages later, my parents finally decided to leave. Pah! I thought. Just when I actually started reading. Thank Goodness I have connection back in Saudi. My 12 yr old sister's friends >=) What? you think I have some mafia friends down in Saudi? I never stuck around long enough in the compound to actually meet people. Sad? Nope.

So I made my sister borrow the first book from her friend. I swear, the girl was treating her book like it was holy or something. She refused to bring it to school and made my sister walk to her home to get it. She also removed the cover so it wouldn't get ruined. Overreacting much?

I still got the book anyway.

It was okay. I decided to download the movie instead and skipped through the first book. Same shit. Edward may be hot and all, but a stalker is a stalker. The first book seems pretty cool. Except for the fact that vampires glitter in the sun. That's just gay. Also, no mater how hot people think Robert is, he still looks feminine to me. And pasty. If he weren't a vampire, he'd just be a pale, gay kid in school.

Then my sister came back home with New Moon. She was reading it, so I took it from her when she was sleeping.

New Moon
So yeah, Bella ditched all her friends for her pale boyfriend who'd sneak into her room through her window every night. You see, even though Edward spent every night in her room, they never did it. He'd tease her, excite the poor bitch, realize that he likes men and pull away. This is a vampire book for crying out loud, we expect some actions meyer! On her birthday, he gave her a mixtape. Coz apparently, it's the thought that counts. A couple of days later, he dumped her in the woods and took back his mixtape. (ahaha). Bella's life became boring for a couple of months until she decided to roll with werewolves. Seduced one of them , in her own "adorable" kinda way. She then jumped off a cliff and lived (damn!). Edward's sister, Raven, I mean Alice, saw this in her "vision". She then came back and found out that she'd make a mistake. Edward, being a fool in love he is, then ran to the mafia vampires family in Italy to die. Bella then flew to Italy to stop him and he was stopped. The mafia, however, didn't like this. They were then taken to the lair (or whatever) and the godfather let them live.

Of course the "Cullen" family came back and Bella and Edward became a couple again. Oh, and Victoria was still out there hunting for Bella. Good.

Eclipse.
Another thick book and Ed was still not getting some. Well, he refused to get some even though Bella had begged him too. Gay. Basically, Bella graduated and got engaged to Ed. Meanwhile, Victoria was forming an army or "newborn" vampires in Seattle. Why seattle? Was she avoiding Canadian blood? I don't know. Still, the bad army attacked. So the cullens and the werewolves got together and fought back. They won.

Breaking Dawn
Bella and Ed got married. They went to some scary island near Rio and did it human-vampire style in the house. Here, we found out that Edward liked it rough. It also seemed like Bella didn't, coz she didn't seem to remember shit. Who the hell woke up saying "what happened?" after getting laid. Anyway, so they forgot to use the rubber and she got knocked up. Then this was the part where Meyer started writing from Jacob's point of view. Hot as described, Jacob was as boring as Bella, no wonder she didn't choose him. Spawn of vampires grew so damn quickly that it was breaking her spines and shit. Meyer didn't spare us the details. Bitch. So yeah, after vomiting a fountain of blood (coz that was all the spawn would eat) and having her uterus ripped out so that the baby could get out, Edward injected venom into her system. Jacob was also with her all the time. By the way, he fell in love (like in love in love) with her baby. The fuck? What are you trying to teach kids here Meyer? She then transformed fron her ugly betty self into a "beautiful" vampire. This and that, the vampire mafia didn't like this. So yeah they came to kill the baby and they talked it over and killed the vampire who ratted Bella to the mafia. funny funny. Then yeah, they existed happily ever after

By the way, Bella's so damn dull that her power after transforming is also dull. She's a shield. yey.

Crap, now I have to find other things to do.

17 more days =)

I miss my baby =( THIS much

Just A Little Self Esteem Issue, We've All Had One

Nah, I'm not weak. I'm not strong either.

So I better get going if I want that first place.

I've done my best to be a better person. Not for anybody else. Just for me.

I remember 2 years ago, a family friend told me, in a good way, that I still need to figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do in life. (Melodramatic I know)

Well, we met again. He told me that I now need to stop worrying. And whenever I'm having difficulties with my decisions, I shouldn't go off doing bullshit and making things worse. He said, I should go perform Shalat Istikharah. Coz no matter how much I've sinned, God is always there to help me out.

It's a shame I can't talk to this guy everytime I need advice.

However God is always there.

He also mentioned something about how women can easily go to heaven. How women. Well, wives, can easily go to heaven. How? Well, by simply being a good partner to her husband, listening to his advice, helping him make decisions, being there when he needs a friend.

When he said that, I remembered a person I know who was complaining about how Islam is unfair. When I asked her why, she told me it was because of what she's heard. Apparently if a wife refuses to, well, do it with her husband and just rolls over, the angels will curse her throughout the night. She found such thing unfair to women.

Then again. Hey, I'm all about independence. I personally want to have my own job and be able to buy my own things with the money I've earned. The thing is, many women have confused the word "independence" with "Feminism". Seriously, the next girl I meet who claims that she doesn't nee a man, Imma smack her hard.

I've seen "Independent" women strutting around with their heads held high, but would turn around once hot guys pass guy.

Then the hot guy would just pass by them, not giving a crap.

Then they'd be confused coz they thought men LIKES independent women.

Then they'd come to a conclusion that all men are jerks.

Independent is being able to do your own thing without ignoring the fact that you're still a woman. Without ignoring the fact that you NEED men no matter what coz women can never be the leader of a family. Woman can make decisions, yes, but women need men to be their strength.

If you ignore all that, then you're not independent anymore. You're simply arrogant and men hate that.

Also, it's mentioned in the Qur'an that we're supposed to listen to what our husbands say. As long as what he tells you to do is good. Then again, if you pick a guy who tries to misguide you, then whose fault is that?

If you don't wanna stay at home after you get married, then compromise with your guy beforehand. Don't bitch afterwards.

If you're not yet married and already bitching bout how men will control women after marriage, then think again. Look at your parents and try to learn from them. Is your mother being controlled? No? Then the fuck are you bitching for?

In Islam, they only told women to wear appropriate clothes, be ladylike (as in don't wear shit or speak in such a way that portrays you as a ho) and listen to your husband. (If there are other things I've missed, please be sure then tell me). Women do not even have to bloody clean the house, cook, do laundry or scrub the bathrooms. For her to do all that for the husband is counted as good deeds.

If you don't wanna do that, then get a maid.

If you don't wanna get a maid, then it's on you.

If you can't get a maid because your husband doesn't make enough, then you gotta do it whether you like it or not. Coz again, marriage is about compromising. Your husband works so that he can bring home food and pay for your home and clothes. You keep the home comfy for both of you to live in.

I don't see a problem with that. Why do these women do?

And just because I'm on the men's side this time, doesn't mean they're off the hook. Some men are actually looking at things from their fucked up point of view.

Their plan is

to get married

keep the wife home

make babies

get new wives

So girls, your job is to stay away from this kind of men. To pray so that God keeps you away from this kinda men.

Don't just fool around and then whines in the end about falling for the wrong guy.

Just a thought =)